


Softly as I Leave You

by romanticalgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 14:25:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl





	Softly as I Leave You

Remus stared out the door, his tea cooling rapidly in his hands. Steam swirled off the top of it, disappearing in the crisp, cool air. He sighed and lifted the cup, sipping mindlessly, relishing the slight burn against his tongue.

Sighing again, he set the cup down on a table just inside the door, trading it for the scrap of parchment that had arrived a few hours earlier. Dumbledore’s familiar writing seemed to twinkle as easily as his blue eyes did, winking and shining at Remus as he read the word again.

_Prepare_

The word ached in his chest, too powerful, too painful still. Images of things he tried not to remember flashed through his head and he crumpled the note in his hand. Prepare, he thought with bitterness. Prepare to suffer again for what you are, what you become, what you cannot change. Prepare to pay, as you made them – made him, the morning after Snape nearly died…after you nearly killed him.

Prepare.

His head snapped up as the air shifted around him. His senses were normal, no residual lingerings from the wolf he became, but years of wariness and association with James and Sirius had honed his awareness to a keen sharpness. He looked out at the night, seeing it this time, watching the shadows as they moved and swayed in the wind, as they detached and slithered and slipped away. Watched as the night moved closer.

He had thought, many times over the years, of ending it all. Not because he was prone to do so, but simply because there was nothing that would cure him. After James and Lily and Peter’s deaths and Sirius’s sentence to Azkaban, he’d fallen. He’d been sent on a mission by Dumbledore in the wake of Voldemort’s defeat and he’d never returned. He’d ingested and digested and fucked and sucked in a blur of bodies and dark clubs and hovels and he’d woken, morning after morning, wondering if it wouldn’t just be easier. Better.

The consideration of it had always proved enough, though he’d never understood why. Had he wished that the truth would come out as it now had? Peter the traitor, not Sirius? Sirius’s distrust of him due to Peter’s disingenuous accusations? Had he wished it or had he known, somewhere deep inside himself? Had he known or simply needed to believe?

“You’ll get yourself killed standing about in doorways, Remus.”

His stillness seemed complete, but something inside him shifted as he lifted his eyes, letting them move to the right. “How on earth did you get an invisibility cloak?”

“I’ve my ways.”

“From the rumors flying fast and furious, you should have a hippogriff with you.” Rumors were nothing to the flame shrouded, mirth induced smile of Minerva McGonagall, informing him how Harry and Hermione had provided the means of Sirius’s escape. “And I know they’ve yet to make an invisibility cloak quite large enough to hide one of those.”

“He’s in the woods out back. I took the liberty of stealing a few apples off the tree and feeding him, though I imagine he’ll scrounge enough mice, eh?”

The strange disembodiment of talking to no one finally struck him and Remus moved away from the door, stepping back inside the house. “He’s welcome to whatever he can find.” He didn’t look back, let the words drift over his shoulder. “As are you, I suppose.”

Sirius shucked the cloak as soon as he stepped inside the house, closing the door safely behind him. “Dumbledore implied…” He stopped and sighed, dropping the cloak over the edge of a chair. His silence echoed as Remus disappeared into the kitchen, filling it with the familiar and forgotten sounds of tea being made. “Remus…”

“You know what’s bothered me since the Shack?” Remus’s voice was cool, calm as always. “It’s truly the one thing I cannot reconcile with all that I know.”

“This would be the same all that you know that allowed you to believe that I was responsible for James and Lily’s deaths?” Sirius’s voice held no emotion

“Very similar to the all you know that allowed you to believe I was the traitor.” His voice never wavered, though his glance at Sirius was piercing.

“Touché.” Sirius nodded and sprawled in one of the worn, wooden chairs. “Go on.”

Remus turned and looked at him, his arms across his chest. “Peter…the Peter I knew…killing twelve people in cold blood, even to save himself…”

“Rats desert a sinking ship, Remus.”

“Rats don’t normally take the crew out with them when they leave.” Remus lifted the kettle as it began to whistle, carrying it to the table. Sirius turned his attention to the delicate china cups that were already spread out, avoiding Remus’s look. “I’m not denying it happened, Sirius. I think Peter’s proven to all of us that he’s no qualms about saving his own hide. I just find it…difficult…”

“More difficult than the fact that he sold out our dearest friends? Sold out the person he idolized more than any other? Sold you out, Remus? He betrayed us all in equal measure.”

“Being the harbinger of death is easier than being the sword that delivers it.” Remus closed his eyes as he poured the hot water, opening them just in time to keep it from spilling over the edge of the cup.

“You’re suggesting, are you, that I did kill them all, Remus? That I deserved my stay in Azkaban?” Sirius got to his feet, anger stiffening the line of him, his too-thin body taut with rage. “It is easier to believe that I could kill twelve innocent in my righteous anger and hurt than it is to believe Peter could in his own cowardice and fear of death?”

“It is easier to wish it never happened at all.” Remus strained his tea leaves. “Sit down, Sirius. Indignation never did look good on you.”

“Peter is a coward. He’s a…”

“And it doesn’t look good on you now.” He offered the cup to Sirius and, when he didn’t take it, simply set it in front of his chair. “If I hadn’t believed you, I wouldn’t have gone along with what happened in the Shack. Certainly wouldn’t have put anyone’s life at risk.” He looked up, his eyes pale and inscrutable. “Did you not think that I knew all along, Sirius? How could I have not known who it was sneaking into the passageways that we mapped? How could I have not known that scent? I was a wolf, despite the potion Snape…”

“Snivellus!” Sirius sneered, slamming back down into his chair. “Taking potions from that…”

“He’s saved Harry’s life a time or two, Sirius.”

“Probably put it at risk nearly as many.” Sirius shook his head. “Dumbledore must be half mad to let that…that…”

“And as the wolf, I could smell your scent.” His mouth turned up at the corner, a knowing smile he couldn’t hide. “You had to mark your territory, as always.”

Sirius started to respond then stopped, a wry chuckle slipping past his lips. “I can’t stay long.”

“You never could.”

“I’m still a wanted man.”

“Have always been.” Remus gave him a smile, tilting his head in acknowledgment. “They’ll look for you here, no doubt. And wherever Harry is. You’ll have to be careful.”

“As will you.”

“Conspiring with the enemy now, am I?” Remus shook his head. “As I recall, that’s got me into trouble enough in my life.”

“Does that mean you’re kicking me out?” Sirius lifted his cup, breathing in the scent of Remus’s trademark strong tea. “You must hate me.”

“I’ve never hated you.” Remus sighed and shrugged, resigned. “Myself, a time or two, for not seeing what I thought I must have deliberately not seen. But never you.”

Sirius’s bitter tone settled between them. “Because it was expected of me?”

Remus let out a long sigh and shook his head. “I’ll run you a bath.”

“Shower. I’ve no desire to learn how to relax just yet.” Sirius finally took a sip, closing his eyes as the heat ran down his throat. “Was it easy, Remus? To believe it of me?”

“Nothing in these past years has been easy, Sirius. And you,” he walked past him, touching his bony shoulder with delicate fingers, “have never been easy at all.”

**

Sirius closed his eyes and let the spray pour down on him, occasionally reaching out to turn the water higher, hotter. Scratches and bruises stung painfully and blood turned the water pink from time to time as he scrubbed at his skin, abrading the surface with the threadbare cloth Remus had supplied for him as well as his fingernails, scratching phantom itches that chased across his skin.

Running the cloth under the water, he pressed it to his face, inhaling the steam and water, letting it cleanse his lungs. Tilting his head back he felt the water beat at the material, random drops sliding down his throat, burning a path down the flesh raw from the screams that woke him from his nightmares.

A jolt of memory startled him and he dropped the cloth, every inch of his body tense. The sound drifted toward him again and he released a pent-up breath, forcing himself to relax, laughing silently at the absurdity of it all.

Remus was humming. Something Muggle, something he’d always hummed under his breath. It was a melancholy tune, but reassuring in its familiarity. He thought he’d forgot it, or had it stolen.

He heard the sound grow distant and the door to the house shut. He knew Remus was taking food to Buckbeak and smiled. Remus’s affinity with creatures belied the nature of his change, but his pure human compassion always won over any misgivings animals had. Things trusted him. People trusted him.

Everyone trusted him.

_Everyone but you._

He ignored the voice; threads of the taunting that had haunted him continually every day for the past twelve years. He’d let his belief of Peter’s complete inability to lie persuade him that Remus’s duality was merely an outward sign of how little they could trust him. Remus was made to keep secrets. Remus’s life depended on secrets kept. Remus was a dark creature. Remus was exactly who Snape and Malfoy and Voldemort would look to. Remus was not to be trusted.

Remus was. Remus was. Remus was.

What Peter hadn’t know, had never known, was Remus was also the man Sirius was in love with. No one knew, least of all Remus himself. They’d shared a flat out of necessity and shared their beds with other people, but never once had Sirius admitted that the reason he was there had nothing to do with practicality and everything to do with need.

Even James hadn’t known. The one secret he’d managed to keep from his best friend. Nothing else was secret, not even Peter’s arguments, which had made a sick sort of sense to them all, even Lily. Level-headed, forward-thinking Lily who, when she became a mother, suddenly became afraid and brave all at once, but unwilling to take even the slightest of chances with her child’s life.

Sirius leaned back against the wall, distancing himself from the spray, the heat of his own tears keeping him warm, freezing him. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed the words, unsure who he was offering penance to, unsure who could still accept it.

**

Remus shut the door behind him and leaned against it, breathing out slowly. The shower had gone quiet and the food he’d set out was still on the table, which meant Sirius was in the bedroom getting dressed in the clothes he’d left on the bed, far too big for him, no doubt, but better than the rags he’d been wearing.

“There’s food,” he called out before moving toward the table, sitting across from the still steaming plate. Sirius appeared moments later, his long, dark hair still tangled and wild, his eyes a reflection of it. “I managed to scrounge up something edible.”

“Scrounge being the correct word, no doubt, given that you look as if you’ve not eaten in years.”

“I’ve been at Hogwarts all year; I’ve had food.”

“No one would be able to tell looking at you.” Sirius ignored the silverware and picked up the steak with both hands, his sharp teeth ripping into the meat. His face was shiny with grease as he chewed, eyes rolling as he swallowed. “You look half-dead.”

“Then we make quite a pair, don’t we?”

“Half-dead and half-alive, you mean? You and I always were well-suited, Moony.”

“You and I were completely ill-suited,” Remus corrected him wryly. “I, as you may recall, spent most of my time trying to temper everything you did.”

“Exactly.” Sirius grinned wolfishly. “Hence our being well-suited.” He took another bite of the steak, chewing vigorously, hungrily. Remus watched his jaw move, mesmerized by the action. “Two sides of the same coin. Patience and impatience. Temperance and impulsiveness.” He grabbed the fork and speared a potato, butter joining the grease on his chin. He wiped it with the sleeve of his shirt then flushed. “Oi.”

“It’ll clean.” Remus nodded toward the food. “Just eat.”

Sirius speared another potato and lifted it, watching Remus with cautious eyes. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“I ate before you arrived.”

Sirius nodded and stuffed the potato in his mouth, chewing methodically. He spoke around the food, swallowing and chewing all the while. “You’re lying.”

“I was told to prepare, uninformed as to why. I ate.” Remus picked up his tea and took a sip, making a slight face at the cool taste. He warmed it with a quiet charm then set the cup down, forgetting its existence again as he watched Sirius return to his food. “You’ll stay the night?”

“Should be safe, I suppose. Not many know about this place, do they?”

“My mother’s side of the family,” Remus agreed. “I’m sure it’s on record somewhere, though I doubt they’ll stop to think and look for a bit. You should be safe tonight.”

Sirius nodded and grabbed for his tea, swallowing a large sip. When he spoke, his voice was almost spiteful. “If I’d had anywhere else to go, I would have gone.”

Remus nodded, his voice neutral. “I’m aware of that.”

“Nothing’s resolved.”

“No.” Remus nodded, his voice soft. “The truth is exposed, nothing more. No answers.”

“You want to know why I suspected you.”

Remus looked up and held Sirius’s gaze. “No. No more than you want to know why I believed it of you.”

“We made it easy.”

“No,” Remus shook his head this time and got to his feet. “It _was_ easy. That’s what makes it all so hard.”

**

Sirius stood in the doorway of the small room, watching Remus as he sat in one of the two chairs, a book open on his lap. “I remember, back in school, there was a night after…the incident. You were sitting in the common room, and James and Lily and I came in. You wouldn’t even look up. I wondered, at that moment, who you hated most. Me, for betraying you, or them, for forgiving me.”

“I forgave you.”

“I believed you, when you said those words, finally. Because I wanted so desperately to believe them. But your eyes never lie, Remus. And there was no forgiveness in them.”

“You,” Remus closed the book quietly, his gaze locked on the cover though his voice pierced Sirius with deadly accuracy, “could never read me, Sirius. You assumed you knew me and derived your answers from that assumption.” He stood and placed the book carefully back on a shelf, drawing Sirius’s eyes to it. The bookcase was the only thing in the room not cultivating a layer of dust. “What you did nearly destroyed me and everything I had worked so hard to achieve. I was, that day, nothing more than a tool, a useful animal like an oxen or a horse, a lamb or pig for slaughter.”

“No.”

“You were the first person outside of my parents and Dumbledore, the first person my own age that I ever believed considered me a human. A man. And that night, it all disappeared into the smoke and mirrors it was.”

“I never thought that of you. I didn’t think, Remus. As usual, as always.”

“You’re welcome to the bed tonight.” Remus pulled another book from the shelf. “There’s wine on the bedside table, in case you can’t sleep. I’ll wake you before dawn.”

“Remus…”

“You thought I could betray those I loved because you believed me nothing more than the animal you decided I was the night you sent Severus Snape to the shack. And I decided you were a killer because you nearly killed him and you nearly killed me that night without a single blow.”

Sirius opened his mouth to speak then shut it, nodding silently instead. After a long moment, he bowed his head, realizing there was nothing more to say. “Goodnight, then.”

“I’ve mourned Peter for twelve years, Sirius.” Remus’s voice cracked slightly. “Mourned their murderer alongside them.” Rage flickered through his voice, deepening it with every word. “We are all victims of illusion.”

“There could be truth. Between us.”

Remus glanced at him, the heat in his eyes causing Sirius to flinch. “What other truths do you have to tell me, Sirius?”

“I told you once that I needed you, Moony. More than once. And that was never a lie.” Sirius watched Remus’s shoulders shake once before nodding. “Goodnight, Remus.”

**

Sirius stared at himself in the mirror, cataloguing the changes in his body. He started with the big things, the ones he could not ignore, the ones he could bear. Too thin, too weak, too scarred. He closed his eyes and lifted his hand to his hair, sighing as he did so, surprised at the feel of another hand.

“What will you do?”

“Kill Peter.”

“How will you find him?”

“I thought I’d go south. He always did like the beach.”

Remus reached around him, plucking the comb from the cup it rested in. “Somehow I can’t picture Voldemort lazing about in the sun and sand.”

“Snakes like warm rocks.”

Remus nodded once. Sirius watched his reflection, watching his gaze lock on the slow movement of the comb, the teeth snagging constantly as he worked it carefully through Sirius’s hair. “Every girl in Gryffindor was jealous of your hair.”

“Every girl in Gryffindor was swept away by your unconcerned charm and deliberate ignorance of their attempts to woo you.” He winced as Remus caught a nasty snag. “You could have been more popular than James and I put together if you’d just have noticed.”

“I noticed. They just weren’t offering anything I particularly fancied.” He combed more, the knots of hair giving way to his gentle stroking. His fingers followed the comb, threading through the broken strands. “It’s a pity.”

“What?” Sirius’s breath caught in his throat as Remus held his gaze in the mirror, both of his hands resting on either side of Sirius’s head.

“Your hair. Nearly destroyed.”

“The Blacks may die horrible, painful deaths, Moony, but I can assure you we will all always die beautiful. It will come back.” He managed a grin, though only after Remus had dropped his eyes. He paused a long moment, judging the silence between them. “What was it?”

“What?”

“That you did fancy?”

“You look half mad, you know.” Remus reached past him again, his fingers sliding into the scissors. “Not that you’re not allowed. I think if any of us have an excuse, it’s you.”

“Don’t cut it.”

“I won’t. Not much.” Remus gathered a thick lock between his fingers, letting the shorter strands fall away from his gentle grip before bringing the blades up to it. Fragile sprays of hair flew away from them, dusting Sirius’s shoulders. The silver shears flashed in candlelight and silence until Remus set them aside, his long fingers returning to brush the stray strands from Sirius’s neck. “It’s not much of an improvement, I’m afraid. My skills, such as they are, leave much to be desired.”

Sirius turned, leaning against the counter, his hands tight against the curved surface. “Remus…”

Remus’s eyes shot to Sirius’s lips, still slightly parted, and he shook his head. “It would be a grave mistake.”

“My life has been full of mistakes,” Sirius licked his lips to combat the sudden dryness of them, in his throat. “I swear to you, this I will do right.”

An involuntary smile tweaked the corner of Remus’s mouth. “Solemnly swear?”

Sirius reached out, his fingers trembling as they touched the raised corner, Remus’s skin soft against his flesh, rough from the hours scraping at the concrete of the Azkaban floor. He closed his eyes at the first contact, inhaling sharply. “Remus,” he whispered, leaning in until their lips brushed, rough and chapped and dry and wrong, noses brushing as he tilted his head until he could feel the touch of Remus’s tongue, pressing against his parted lips.

Sirius shuddered as Remus’s fingers moved through his hair down to frame his face, fingers trailing over his cheeks as his pinkies brushed the corners of his mouth, breaking the soft kiss as if it had never been.

“Remus…” His lips trembled, his body quaking with emotion and fear. Remus’s hand shook as well, feathering over his own sun-starved skin. “I…”

“Shh,” Remus whispered, brushing his lips over Sirius’s softly. “Don’t…don’t…” He bit Sirius’s lower lip then pulled it into his mouth, sucking gently. Sirius’s groan came from somewhere deep inside of him, ending on a suffocated whimper as Remus’s hands moved, fisting in Sirius’s hair as he jerked him closer, his tongue thrusting into Sirius’s mouth.

“Christ,” Remus pulled back just enough to breathe then turned, taking Sirius with him, pressing him against the bathroom door. Sirius groaned again, arching into Remus’s body as they collided together, his mouth hungry and seeking.

Sirius’s hands grasped at Remus’s shirt, tugging and clenching in the fabric as Remus’s mouth owned his, his tongue delving and searching, thrusting and exploring, running over the surfaces until every nerve Sirius possessed felt alive and inflamed. “Remus…I…Moony…”

“Shut up,” Remus slurred, his fingers hard against Sirius’s skull as he held him, moving from Sirius’s mouth to the skin of his cheek down to his neck. He bit and nipped and sucked, his hips thrusting forward to meet the hard grind of Sirius’s. “Just don’t…”

Sirius shuddered, his eyes wide as he stared up at the ceiling, his hands running up and down Remus’s back, nails digging at the material of his shirt, feeling the skin through the threadbare fabric. He had no control, no sense as Remus’s fingers began undressing him, unfastening and undoing buttons, pushing his shirt away from his skin and sucking, moving further down Sirius’s chest. He flicked an erect nipple with his tongue and Sirius grabbed him, his own strength shocking him as he thrust Remus away, fighting to catch his breath.

“I can’t…I haven’t…” He shook his head wildly; his eyes wild as well in the mirror, even wilder in the reflection of Remus’s gaze. “I just…”

Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’s cock, hard and tight and perfect, sliding along the length. Sirius shook his head again, breathlessly begging Remus to stop as he thrust upwards into every stroke. Remus held his eyes, held him erect, held him against the wall with the sheer power of his gaze and Sirius fought for air.

“Since Azkaban…I can’t…I won’t…I haven’t…” He gasped and groaned and thrust all at once, his body shaking with the sheer force of his orgasm. Tears filled his eyes and he jerked free of Remus’s grip, turning toward the wall and sliding down it to his knees. His head hit the door hard as he slumped forward, his fist imitating it again and again as he fought for control.

Remus sank down to the floor as well; his back against the bathroom vanity, his wrists on his knees, his breathing hard and fast. He remained silent until his breathing evened out then he spoke, his voice barely recognizable. “A mistake then.”

Sirius stilled, his fist against the door, barely turning his head. Remus refused to look at him, his gaze locked on the shadows falling from the window, spindly tree limbs dancing across the floor. “No.”

“No?”

“I…I’ve…when I was fifteen I realized that I was something even more likely to get me erased from the family tree than a Gryffindor.” He tried to laugh and failed. “When I got to school that year, I realized it wasn’t a good thing. Because I couldn’t seem to keep from spending the rest of the time I was at Hogwarts wanking to the thought of you.”

“Bullshit.”

“What fucking reason do I have to lie?” The anger was absent from his voice, the pain almost masked. “Of course, that was the year everything went to hell, wasn’t it? And it just got worse from there, even when it got better. Do you know what it was like to listen to you in the room next to mine? Do you know what it was like to be less than five feet away, just a fucking wall between us?”

“I would think the answer to that might be obvious, given what just happened here.” Remus got to his feet and ran water, shoving his head in the sink. When he pulled back, he raked his fingers through his wet hair, not caring as the droplets rained down around him. He didn’t look at his reflection.

“At Hogwarts, this year, I would lie there in the Shack and I think about you and I’d rub myself raw, aching for release, able to think about you, about anything without those ghouls hanging over me. I stole lotions, I stole…I…” Sirius blew out a hard breath. “Nothing. Nothing. I could wank myself bloody and nothing…”

Remus didn’t say anything though his hands tightened on the countertop, his knuckles whitening as he gripped it.

“And now I’ve actually managed to…and I’ve fucked it all up.” He glanced at Remus then away. He took a deep breath, gathering it in his sunken chest before facing Remus, his voice carrying through the entire house as he yelled. “What the fuck did you do that for?”

Remus was still chuckling as Sirius quieted, the sound haunted in the tiled room. “Because, you stupid git, I’ve been waiting for it longer than you.”

Sirius watched as Remus left, disappearing into the darkness of the other room.

**

Sirius sat on the edge of the mattress, his hands rubbing the oversized jeans he wore. Remus watched them for a moment before lifting his gaze. “Well?”

“Well.” Sirius exhaled then lay next to him. “Well, Professor, enlighten me? Because I’ve been away from everything but despair for so long that I’m not sure I understand what it means.”

Remus shrugged and reached out, stroking the sharp edge of Sirius’s cheekbone. “There’s nothing to explain, really. Tonight, we’ll sleep. Tomorrow, you’ll leave.”

“And after?”

“And after…” Remus leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on Sirius’s lips, following it with a soft swipe of his thumb. “After will take care of itself.”

“I could…” Sirius gestured downward, his eyes holding Remus’s. “If you’d like.”

“I would like,” Remus swallowed and laid his head on the pillow, turning slightly, “very much if you’d just lie here with me, Sirius.”

“I dream.”

“So do I.”

“Nightmares.”

“So do I.”

“Thrash a bit.”

“I’ll hold you still.”

“I’m scared.”

Remus turned his head and met Sirius’s eyes, a sly smile on his lips. “Not tonight.”

Sirius let out a deep breath and nodded, moving closer, letting Remus pull him against his body. “You’re right.”

“You’ll find, Mr. Black, that I often am.”

“Smart-arse.”

“Git.”

“Poof.”

“Shirt-lifter.”

“Moony.”

Remus nodded and closed his eyes, pressing a soft kiss to Sirius’s temple with a sigh. “Yes.”

**

Red and gold rays of sun dappled the sheets as Remus stretched, arms and legs sprawled over the bed. He closed his eyes, inhaling the air around him, which was filled with the bitter stench of scorched tea leaves burning in too little water.

Sitting up, he sighed and reached for his robe, pulling it around him as he stood. He walked to the kitchen and turned off the burner, removing the teapot and carrying it carefully to the table. A plate of toast, the blackened coating scraped clear with a knife and left in a messy pile on the side, swimming in a melted pool of butter.

He grinned despite himself and pressed his spoon to the side of the boiled egg, cracking it easily. The yolk spilled free of the semi-gelatinous white and he laughed aloud, setting the spoon back on the table. “Leave it to you to make a disaster of my home, Padfoot.”

“Well, it’s not as if cooking was part of the training for the heir of the Noble and Ancient House of Black. Plotting revenge, the destruction of life as we know it, and the obliteration of those who don’t have pure wizarding blood…well, that was a bit more de rigeur.”

“Well, I do appreciate the effort.” Remus grabbed the plates and moved them to the sink before turning and watching Sirius as he walked further into the room. “I thought you’d gone.”

“I thought about it.” He put the dish he’d been carrying in the sink, standing beside Remus, turning his head. “I got up, got dressed and thought the best thing I could do was leave, get out before I found out it was all a dream or a mistake or…”

Remus turned met Sirius’s eyes before glancing down at his lips. “Or?”

“I do have to leave.”

Remus nodded. “Yes. You do.” He leaned in, closing his eyes as he brushed Sirius’s lips softly with his own.

“For now,” Sirius nodded as he swayed forward, catching himself, catching his breath as Remus’s hand stroked his cheek.

“But not forever.”

“We’ve already waited forever.”

“Then this,” Remus assured him, kissing him slowly, deeply, his tongue teasing Sirius’s hungrily before he pulled away, “will seem like no time at all.”

“Longer than forever,” Sirius corrected him. “I should go.”

“Yes,” Remus nodded. “You should.”

Sirius stepped away, surprised to find his fingers entangled with Remus’s. He released him reluctantly and headed for the door. “I was thinking that I’d go south. I’ve missed the sun.”

“You could do with a nice tan. And food. Preferably that you don’t cook yourself.” He closed his eyes as Sirius shut the door behind him, catching his breath as the lock clicked into place. “Just…” He shook his head and moved to the door, pressing his hand against the glass. “Be careful.”  



End file.
